


You stayed

by OfDarkMind



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, dammit why you do?, re-write of a scene or two in the game, the way I wanted it to go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 14:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2735306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfDarkMind/pseuds/OfDarkMind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>okay... I rewrote two Joseph/Sebastian's scenarios in the game to suit my Joseb needs. I am not sorry. A little kissy kissy... and you know Ruvik is probably watching them with a noseblleed,</p>
            </blockquote>





	You stayed

Why does he do such stupid things? 

Joseph’s body was still shaking from the near death experience. Adrenaline pumping through him reminded him just how close he came to losing his head. 

He pushed himself up from the ground as the two mutants behind him disintegrated. He looked behind him briefly as they flaked into the air, like they were being erased. He felt anger with himself and embarrassment that he did something so foolish and nearly killed himself and Sebastian. His face twisted as he got his feet under him and looked at how close he had been to the guillotine. He swallowed hard to push down the vomit that wanted to come up.

“You okay?” Joseph heard from across the chasm. Sebastian had been forced to save him yet again. Joseph looked away from the medieval death device with disgust on his face. He rushed blindly ahead. He wanted to prove that he wasn’t useless. He wanted to show Sebastian that he wasn’t the damsel that needed rescuing. But thus far since everything went to hell, it’s all he has done is put himself and Sebastian in danger. 

He nearly strangled Sebastian after being rescued from whatever contraption that was… the tub full of fluid and the wire attached to the back of his head. When they were able to get Kidman out of the trap, they fell through the floor, forcing Sebastian to come after them. He has been a burden ever since they woke up in this hell. He’d been cornered too many times, cut off from helping him when he needed it most – like when that freak with the chainsaw came out and attacked Sebastian. Joseph ran around on the other side of the gate trying to get to him but he couldn’t… he was useless and it looks like he will continue to be so.

“I’m fine. No need to worry.” Joseph said a little tersely. It wasn’t directed at Sebastian, it was directed at himself. He is not normally this reckless. Since all this stuff started to happen, every time he was around Sebastian things tended to go wrong and most of the time it ended up being Joseph’s fault. Even before the chainsaw toting monster cornered Seb, he was forced to save Joseph from being pushed off the edge of the makeshift bridge that spanned the chasm. Joseph hung on by one arm, for some reason, unable to pull himself up as he looked into the dead glowing eyes of the barbed wired priest that looked down at him with an axe in his hand. Joseph thought he would die then too. Again, Sebastian pulled him out of danger at personal risk to himself.

How much longer is Sebastian going to have to endure this? Joseph always felt like Sebastian trusted him to cover his back. Just as he trusted Sebastian. They have always done so… yet now it appeared that Joseph was completely dependent on him. Not anymore… 

A despair he had never known personally had come down on him like a curtain. He suddenly hated himself for being so irresponsible. He is frequently hard on himself and he knew it well, but usually it lent a positive hand to future endeavors. But now he’s just angry. He could see Sebastian out of the corner of his eye walking along the chasm side looking for a way to cross. Joseph pursed his lips, his brow knitted together as he observed a perfect makeshift bridge to allow Sebastian to cross. 

Fuming, he crossed over to the long board, likely built by the village people before they fell into madness, lifted it and dropped it across the gap. Sebastian is eyeing him. It was a strange look that Joseph didn’t want to see. It looked like a mixture of pity and understanding… but under it he can also sense a telling off. He didn’t need to be told off. As a matter of fact… he won’t burden Sebastian ever again. He had done enough damage to him.

Causing problems for him in the worst of times. On top of getting internal affairs in on Sebastian’s business before that dented their friendship. As Sebastian came closer Joseph assessed his stance, the slack way Sebastian held the pistol in his hand, in a downward angle. 

Sebastian put his foot on the same side of the bridge as Joseph and slowed. He was going to ask him again if he is okay, Joseph has been really taking a beating lately. The explosion surely rattled him, not to mention noticing that he could have been beheaded if Sebastian hadn’t stopped his executioners. Instead Joseph walked toward him slowly, their eyes on one another. Sebastian, and all cops and detectives, were trained to look for this sort of thing. Eye contact to distract you from what the hands may be doing. Joseph managed to do it and Sebastian fell for it.

“You should have just let them…” Joseph’s voice was soft and filled with disgust and anger. Sebastian was about to tell Joseph that there was no way in hell he was going to let those bastards kill him when the gun he had been holding in his hand loosely was seized from him. 

“Joseph!” Sebastian is startled by the realization that Joseph had sunk lowest into a sea of misery that he was willing to end it with a gun to his temple. They have been through so much together already and this is what will be is undoing? Sebastian was more scared in this moment than he had been through any of this nightmare, looking into the eyes that wanted to end the torment and it hurt him. Shook him. No, not here.

“It’s only a matter of time, Sebastian.” Joseph whimpered as he stared hard into his partner’s eyes. Sebastian lifted his hands in a gesture of passive calmness. He tried like hell to be strong in this moment but for some reason he failed as his body trembled. He has been fighting a horde of monsters in a world of crumbling memories and yet… he is about to come undone by Joseph’s willingness to ease Sebastian’s way.

“Talk to me, Joseph… a matter of time for what?” Sebastian spoke soothingly. He could see Joseph’s hand starting to shake. Even though there was darkness in his eyes, Sebastian could still see that hinted plea for help. A silent call to stop him before he did something stupid.

“Before…’ Joseph calked the hammer and grimaced. “Before I get you killed.”

“That’s bullshit!” Sebastian barked despite himself. Yes, Joseph just fucked up but so what… they are both alive right now and that is all that matters… and it is all that will matter. The harshness in the retort jolted Joseph but he didn’t lower his hand.

“I’ve almost killed you twice. You really trust me now that a third time is possibly on the horizon? I have been nothing but a burden on you since all this started!” Joseph rattled off reasons that Sebastian should let him pull the trigger, his body becoming tense because he was not sure when his own finger will pull the back the trigger and end the conversation. He shook more, his breath ragged.

“Nothing can ever prepare anyone for this shit! Joseph, I am not losing you here. Not by your own hand!”

“What… so I can turn again and try to kill you? Or do something else that’s stupid and nearly kill both of us? Why wait!? You’d do better without me!” Joseph cried and closed his eyes and his finger started to twitch. “It’s better this way.” 

A blunt force hit his chest as strong fingers gripped his slender wrist. He felt the gun falling from his hand as he toppled backward with Sebastian tackling him forcefully. A mixture of anger and shock clouded his mind before he even thought to pull the trigger while it was still near enough to his head to end it. His back to the rocks with the weight of Sebastian over him, he let out a moan of frustration. He did not understand at that moment why Sebastian would want to be hampered by him. 

Sebastian reached over and pushed the pistol out of arms reach, grimacing in ire of Joseph’s foolhardy abandon. He stood to his feet quickly, thinking a multitude of things in the few seconds it took him to grab his partner by the vest and haul him to his feet. Joseph too had thought a multitude of things, feelings and confusion before he was pulled off the ground and had Sebastian’s face in his, disarmed by the disappointment in his eyes, Joseph relented. 

“What the fuck!” Is all that Sebastian could manage at that moment as he glared into Joseph’s eyes. Joseph’s smaller gloved hands tremble as he clutched Sebastian’s bigger and stronger wrists. Sebastian wasn’t sure if it was fear or adrenaline. Sebastian slowly released Joseph but didn’t move from in front of him.

“Seb-“ Joseph started and swallowed hard as the normally hard and curt facial features he has known and loved for a long time had crumbled and a couple tears spilled down the rugged face. Sebastian seemed agitated with himself for it but he made no attempt to stem them or hide it. He shoved Joseph a little so the smaller man stumbled away. Sebastian turned toward the gun and stooped to pick it up. 

There was so much energy in the air, between them and surrounding them that it was all they could feel or recognize for a few moments until Sebastian looked over his shoulder at Joseph, who made no fresh attempts on his life but merely looked at Sebastian’s back.

“We need to get to cover. We’re too out in the open for this right now.” He turned and pointed a finger at Joseph. It is a clear indicator that their conversation was not over but they had to move out of this spot and find refuge.

“Don’t ever do that again!” He reached and grabbed at Joseph’s arm and pulled him forward down the path. They were accosted by a throng of monsters that forced Joseph to get the large wooden gate open while Sebastian risked limb to keep the angry horde off them. It was simple enough; kick the bridge down into the chasm so they cannot cross. Problem was, they started throwing dynamite at them. 

He managed to keep them at bay and Joseph got the gate open quick enough but not faster than it took for those things to figure a plan to get across the chasm by ripping up some of the other longer boards they were on to bridge the gap…

“Sebastian! Come on!” Joseph yelled as he was momentarily distracted by those things ability to adapt. They aren’t mindless, no matter what they may seem at first glance. He ran through the gate with Joseph at his side as he aimed to the winch and shot it, busting the mechanism and making the heavy gate drop back down to the ground with a shuddering bang. The horde will have to find another way around to get at them. For now… they are safe.

It was quiet for a few seconds before he heard Joseph sniffing. The sound seemed very loud compared to how silent it is. He turned and took in the view. It looked like an old market place. A gate stood shut on the far side.

After some digging he managed to scrounge up some ammunition from the copious amounts of rotting food. Neither he nor Joseph could stand being there long, the stench of putrid meat was heavy in the air and it lingered. They expedited their search for another weapon in light of getting away from the stink. They considered taking one of the meat cleavers but it was so buried into the butchers table that Joseph and Sebastian could not pull it out. 

Secretly, gagging and breathing through their noses as they approached the gate, Sebastian is glad Joseph wasn’t armed with another weapon. He didn’t want him to get any ideas. Sebastian is more than willing to protect Joseph from the horde… even himself if need be as long as he stays with him. 

Joseph coughed a few times, wracking and wet sounding. 

“Are you okay?” Sebastian asked him. He wasn’t sure if he was asking him if he was physically okay or mentally. Both seemed appropriate to ask. 

“I…I… yeah.” Joseph took a deep breath and cleared his throat a little. Whatever it is that weighed on Joseph now was squashed under determination. Sebastian recognized the clear sign of one pulling oneself together in Joseph and he felt a little better, but not completely at ease. There is no telling what else lies ahead of them. What sort of atrocities that may bring about suicide again. 

“Stay close… we can get through this.” Sebasian said. The next area they came too looked like a derelict graveyard. Huge mausoleums, or houses… they weren’t quite sure… they weren’t from any area’s that are modern or anything familiar historically. 

“Looks like something straight out of the middle ages.” Joseph said. Sebastian noted that it did but the area is equipped with electricity. It didn’t feel right. It was like the past forced into the same place with the present. 

Walking forward and taking in the lay of the land from what they could see was the first immediate structure is some sort of church or mortuary. It is decayed, sitting unused and in a state of state of disrepair. In fact, Sebastian noted, that a lot of it looked like a wrecking ball came through. His meandering thoughts came to a halt when he heard wet choking beside him. He turned to see Joseph leaning on a pylon holding his chest. He gagged as flecks of blood dropped from his mouth and splattered the stone before him. Sebastian reached for him but something drew his hand back. It was like an invisible barrier popped up between them. 

Sebastian, confused, wondered why he could not touch Joseph just now. Perhaps it is his own inner turmoil about his feelings for him. Perhaps he felt that if he put his hands on Joseph, the younger man would feel his emotions or… see in his mind. He wasn’t even sure why he was refusing or denying this part of him. It wasn’t like he had anything more to lose by letting it out. He just wasn’t sure Joseph would be susceptible. Sebastian isn’t mistaken that Joseph has feelings too… that wasn’t the issue. Sebastian didn’t want to open doors that could not be closed if they got in too far. He didn’t want to put Joseph in a position where he’d have to decide. Yet… 

A grumble and inhuman gurgle was heard over the air and Sebastian had to act. He grabbed Joseph by the arm and tossed it over his shoulder as he dragged him into the dilapidated building to find cover. Joseph is light, he barely lost his breath dragging him the ten feet or so into the shelter of the three and a half walls where the monsters would neither see nor hear them. Especially if Joseph has another coughing spell or god forbid turns into one of those things. 

“We can rest here for a while.” Sebastian said as Joseph pulled himself away. Sebastian thought he understood why. Joseph is fighting with that feeling of uselessness again. The damsel reaction of being helpless and needing saving especially when he never had to this much before in his life. Joseph leaned against the wall, choking as he slid to his butt in a heap trying to catch his breath. 

Sebastian thought for a moment as his hand instinctively went to his back pocket to pull out the whisky flask that is notoriously present about him since Lilly died. He pulled it out and swished it about. He bitterly wished that it was alcohol and not that green goop shit he has been picking up and injecting into his brain. He wondered if injecting it into Joseph would help him since, as far as he knows, Joseph hasn’t been injected with it. Sebastian has been using it and has not had the inkling to turn into one of those things. But before he could ask Joseph, Joseph spoke.

“Is this what it was like, Seb? After the accident?” Sebastian looked down at the floor at Joseph, whose far away gaze seemed guilt ridden and lost. Sebastian knew exactly why he asked that question. The guilt that he could not save Lilly mirrored Joseph’s guilt of not being able to keep himself out of harms way so Sebastian did not have to risk himself. The lost sensation when you cannot help yourself and everyone is slipping away from you and you cannot stop it was something they also felt similarly. 

“I never put a gun to my head.” Sebastian said sternly. He thought he would be the one to consider it before Joseph… 

“No of course not; just quietly sank into a bottle.” Joseph said. 

“Clearly we can’t all be perfect. Suicide is hardly a better answer than being an alcoholic.” Sebastian said as he tucked the flask back in his pocket as he walked toward Joseph who watched him in turn. “It never affected my work though. But hey…’ Sebastian could not help the bitterness in his tone. “You read the IA report.” He felt a little satisfaction that was automatically eclipsed with pity at the expression on Joseph’s face as he turned his eyes away to avoid the accusatory statement, as if in some way Joseph was responsible. But even Sebastian knew deep down that Joseph did what he was supposed too. 

“You know I didn’t report you because of your work, Sebastian.” Joseph’s voice trembled a little as he looked back up at Sebastian with a sort of plea to understand that Sebastian’s ability to perform was never in question. It was never his responsibilities as a detective… Sebastian turned away as he muttered “What else is there?” and missed the pained glint on Joseph’s eyes. 

“I was there.” Joseph said just as quietly and Sebastian heard him. It made him pull up for a second. He wasn’t sure if that was an admittance or not but the slight quaver in his voice made Sebastian’s heart soar. He felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff ready to fall off. 

“You know… this really isn’t the time to have this conversation, Joseph.” Sebastian said lightly, easily, like he was trying to pace himself. Like he was trying to consider how best to say things without getting into too much detail. Situation or not, it had to be said… even if to just keep Joseph there and from harming himself.

“You say you don’t want to be a burden to me-“Sebastian started but Joseph cut him off.

“You can’t deny that I have been nothing but trouble!” Joseph said with some force.

“Yeah… you made a mistake. So what! So have I! And it almost cost me my life!” Sebastian said over his shoulder. “I need to say this to you.”

Sebastian took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“Back when I was with Myra. When Lilly was born… I had everything I wanted. A woman I loved. A beautiful angel that god let me have for a daughter. A perfect career.” Sebastian looked down at the ground around his feet. He hasn’t talked about this since Myra disappeared. And only to himself has he ever said this stuff.

“When that fire took my baby from me… I slowly lost sight of everything. It’s like… when she died, she took my sense with her. Then Myra drifted away from me… I lost my wife… I lost the respect of my colleagues. I damn near lost everything. The entire force, the entire city, thought I had something to do with Myra’s disappearance. Hell they may have also suspected that I had something to do with Lilly’s death too.” He turned and looked at Joseph. Sebastian knew what was going through Joseph’s mind. He could see it by the set of his face. He is recalling reporting him to internal affairs. 

“Sebastian-“Joseph tried to say something but was halted by Sebastian stepping forward and reached for Joseph to pull him to his feet. Standing him straight, hands firmly on Joseph’s shoulders, Sebastian spoke more seriously than he has done in a long time as he looked in Joseph’s eyes.

“Joseph. I would never consider you a burden because after everything I lost… the one thing I managed to hold on to despite all the other shit I dropped was you. You stayed with me when everyone else turned their backs. You stayed and put up with my shit! You… you had opportunity to get away from me. The chief offered you a way out… and you didn’t take it. You stayed with me. How can I consider you a burden when you have been my only friend when I needed one and no one else cared?” 

Joseph was astounded. He has never heard Sebastian talk like this. Not before or after Myra. Joseph reflected a little that Myra said that ‘Sebastian is really a big softy and if he liked you, you’d see it once in a while.’ Of course it took the removal of a whole lot of barriers and obstacles to see that from him. Joseph brought his hands up to Sebastian’s vest. He wasn’t sure why he was doing it, only knowing he wanted to hold Sebastian but there is still a barrier between them. One more hurdle that would just take one of them to jump.

“I don’t want anything to happen to you. Not on my account. I had done enough when I exposed your drinking to IA. But you have to believe me… I only did it so they could prove you innocent and get everyone else off your back. I never meant any harm.” Joseph said with a quaver in his voice as he moved just a little closer. Sebastian didn’t stop him.  
“I know why you did it. I understand, no matter how I reacted when I was handed the summons. Joseph, you have been here for me. I want to be here for you. Don’t stop me from paying back that debt.” Sebastian pulled him in, his voice deep and husky. He noticed Joseph’s eyes flicker down to his lips a couple times before focusing on his eyes.   
“I didn’t expect you to repay me for caring about you.” Joseph nearly whispered as his chest touched Sebastian’s and his eyes were focused on Sebastian’s mouth again. Sebastian lifted his right hand to caress Joseph’s jawline and tempt his mouth to a proper angle for claiming.

“As much as I expect you to understand that because I do care for you, I would not let anything happen to you.” Sebastian’s fingers brushed down Joseph’s neck… they were losing themselves in the moment unable to stop the flood of emotions and the turbulence that brought their mouths together in a very desperate kiss. Joseph’s fingers clutched at Sebastian’s back hard as he is pulled in flush against the bigger man. His lips, his tongue… his taste is amazing and Joseph let out a quivering moan when their mouths parted for air. 

Sebastian could taste blood in his mouth from Joseph. It wasn’t overpowering and it was in a sort of way, pleasant. He could taste the sweetness in his mouth that he had longed for in over two years. Perhaps longer. He felt safe in Joseph’s arms, yet another token the possibility that this was meant to be. The feeling of him in his arms only partially reminded him of times passed. This is almost wholly new and he knew he had to protect it. 

He blushed a little, but nothing like what Joseph was doing as he backed away a little and surveyed his partner. 

“Now isn’t the time for this. When we get out of here, we will have more time to talk. But for now…’ He sighed at the determined expression on Joseph’s face. “I need my partner here.” 

Joseph nodded. 

“I’m counting on you.” Sebastian added as he took his gun out of the holster to prepare to go back out into the hell outside their brief sanctuary.


End file.
